I feel lost again. I don’t remember what day it is today, what I ate last night, or what I did the day before. It’s like a dream. You just happen to be there in that moment, not knowing how you wound up in that place. You don’t know how the dream ended when you wake up in the morning. It soon starts to fade away. There are some things I did that I’m not proud of. I don’t want to remember them all. Pretend I was a different person back then. We all have something we want to forget, don’t we? You keep dreaming different dreams every night. You feel like you want to live a certain dream, but you cannot hold on to any part of it. I wish I were dreaming now too. I don’t want to know how I got here. I just want to keep looking for surreal places. Coconut trees wobbling in the cool breeze, lingering smiles of old folks watching the kids enjoy delicious ice cream at the beach. I want to be a pedestrian walking on the sand as the sun sets. My mind is a blank canvas waiting to be painted with this beautiful scene. I want this moment to last forever. I want to be trapped in this dream.

The sudden ringing of my phone shatters my reverie. “Press 1 to apply for a credit card. Press 2 to apply for a home loan.” I cut the call abruptly before the automated voice could ask me to press 3 for any other inquiries. I look at the clock when I hear my stomach making weird rumbling noises. It’s 10 pm already. I finish dinner quickly whilst mindlessly consuming random content from TV just to kill time. I go to bed. Another Sunday slipping away as I fall asleep, and soon I am dreaming again. When the alarm goes off at 6:00 AM on Monday morning, reality hits me. I rush to get ready for work. All the memories flood me as I hurry to catch the cab to the office. Life was better when I didn’t have the slightest clue of what was happening around me. I was lost, but I was shielded from harsh realities of the world.

Amidst the honking, the driver cribbing about someone over the phone who didn’t return his money, and instrumental music playing in my headphones, I start to doze off and slide into a dream again. I drift into the realms beyond my ordinary existence. I’m a renowned author selling millions of copies of my books. I’m an adventurer exploring wildlife and climbing mountains. I’m a scientist helping mankind. I’m everything I never knew I’d ever be. I bask in the glory of my dreams, living out triumphs until the halt of the car jolts me back to reality, where the mundane routine awaits me within the office gate. I remove my headphones and thank the driver for the safe ride. As I step down from the car and move towards the entrance, I see familiar faces walking into the cafeteria. I’m back to my 9-to-5 life, which usually stretches into the late hours of the night, almost every other day. Soon, Friday arrives and so does the weekend. I immerse myself in dreams, one after another, until the inevitable return of Monday morning. It’s a time loop, reliving old memories and creating new ones. I ponder over what’s real and what’s not, and I wander between dreams of reality and illusion.